Feisty

Feisty

You know how a lot of terriers are -- feisty, fightful, fractious. Well, two such young boys -- Terry Aramis Airedale Terrier and Tony Athos Airedale Terrier -- who had known each other since they were mere pups, decided one day to take in a movie after school. They always did stuff together; they understood and liked each other like all loyal and true friends. Two for one and one for two, as it were. The boys were stereotypically hyper, but surprisingly, they were also intellectually curious. So they decided to ask their math master, Mr. Mastiff, what movie he would most highly recommend. He advised them to run down to the town's art theater to see a fascinating new documentary about a feline saxophonist and canine violinist who had formed a duo which had taken the musical world by storm. The duo's name was Yassir and Yitzhak.

The two terriers did not tarry. Off they scampered to the theater to check out this inspiring film, which had captured the hearts of thousands of music lovers -- and peace lovers -- all over the world. The film, in fact, had fulfilled its director's dream and the dreams of the performers themselves -- to demonstrate the goodness which can pour forth when people set aside their differences and hostilities for the pure joy of making beautiful music together.

Terry and Tony were, indeed, amazed and awed by the images and sounds they saw and heard. Like so many viewers, they were stunned by the sheer power of the performances.

"Those guys are incredible," raved Terry. "I don't think I've ever heard anything quite as awesome as that saxophone player. His sound fills up the whole theater."

"They are great," agreed Tony. "But the violinist is the real star."

"Well, you're just wrong," countered Terry. "You can tell that it's the sax player who provides the real inspiration."

"You're being a jerk, as usual," responded Tony. "The violinist is phenomenal. The sax player is a stupid cat. And an Arab. And a Muslim."

"But he's terrific!" yapped Terry. "And you're a prejudiced poop-head."

"Oh, yeah? Well try this paw on for size. Right across your big fat nose!" barked Tony. Soon, bark turned to bite and paw turned to claw as the two fought tooth and nail and began the sad process of turning the theater into a virtual Ultimate Fighting arena. You see, surrounding the middle of the theater, which was filled up mostly by terriers, was a group of strays on a field trip from the local shelter for the homeless. And they were some pretty wild dogs. The whole scene became very intense very quickly.

"Shut up and sit down!" shouted a Jack Russell.

"YOU shut up," yowled a Staffordshire.

Both got punched in the face by a Bedlington sitting behind them.

But then, to make matters more messy, all the strays got into the act, and soon the entire theater had become a major raging riot of disgusting dog destruction. In fact, it was a mess of higher rank: a five-star general riot, a veritable torrential tornado of turmoil.

And so it was that in one small corner of the animal kingdom, the Yassir-and-Yitzhak effect had been turned upside-down, its director's dreams of detente deflated and defeated.

But as for our two heroes, Airedales-by-nature, their own brief canine contretemps had had little or no effect. They finished their typical Terry and Tony tussle, calmly considered the chaos all around them, and walked up the aisle toward the exit. Terry remarked, "Look at all those dopey dogs, those stupid strays screaming and scrapping. They're ruining a great flick. Can't wait to tell Master Mastiff about it."

Moral:

(1) The best-laid plans of cats and dogs oft go a-stray.

(2) Never allow kids to see a movie that's full of sax and violins.